The Art of Forgiveness: Letting Go and Moving Forward

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.  - Paul Boese

The blending of forgiveness, love and acceptance is an exquisite process which allows miracles to flow abundantly into your life. Practicing the art of forgiveness is a unique healing process which involves opening the heart and allowing more compassion, love and understanding to replace feelings of fear, anger or resentment. Forgiveness offers a healing experience of mind, spirit, and body. You will feel lighter, more hopeful, energized and closer to the Divine.

Forgiveness is the most significant single process that will bring peace to your life and harmony to your soul. To live a conscious and aware life, it is imperative that you take full responsibility for the life you have created for yourself. Only once, you let go of the blame, pain, and resentment, will you start to see miracles happening in your life.

What is Forgiveness?

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

Taking Responsibility for your Life

Almost everyone has been hurt by the words or actions of another person. Deep-seated childhood wounds can cause havoc in your adult life if you do not face them and release them. If you do not take 100% responsibility for your words, thoughts and actions, you can forever remain stuck in a destructive downward spiral of hurt, upset and conflict. The cycle of conflict can cause incredible damage and can even last for years.

Long-held resentments cause a tremendous amount of internal suffering. When you are full of resentment and anger, you cannot move on with your life and enjoy the bliss of living fully in the present. Your upset will always keep you tied to the past and to the people who hurt you.  When you live with so much suppressed pain, a part of you closes down. You will experience anguish and very little love.

Often the suffering that’s caused by holding onto your anger, old grudges, bitterness or resentment is far greater than the actions or words that created the pain in the first place. Whether your partner had an affair or your business associate stole money from you or your parent’s abused you, holding onto the pain can never heal your wounds or mend a broken heart.

Many people hold onto an unwillingness to forgive themselves and struggle with accepting their humanness. Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself.  Once you forgive yourself and accept your imperfections, it is easier to accept the imperfections of others.

Learning the art of forgiveness involves releasing resentment towards those closest to you. Often it is our closest family members that we have the most resentment and anger towards. They are the people we blame when our life is not working out the way we planned it to. Parents, spouses and children are often at the receiving end of our negative actions triggered by our fears and hurts.

The most powerful and self-loving thing you can do is to practice forgiveness and dissolve resentments. By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace, hope, gratitude, abundance, and joy. It is a process of taking responsibility for yourself and taking your power back. It will improve your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. This is the place where miracles occur.

This includes forgiving anyone who has ever done anything against you. It may be justified to feel angry towards them. Maybe legally and intellectually you have every right to be mad. However holding a grudge towards others will only hinder your progress on your spiritual path. Some people may also need to forgive God. Often people blame God for the suffering they endure and for the struggles of their life, the death of a child, the break-up of a marriage, illness or financial troubles. Consciously or unconsciously they believe that the pain is inflicted by God.

Below are some signs that indicate the need for forgiveness.

  1. Do you live in fear?
  2. Do you feel victimized?
  3. Do you feel tired all the time?
  4. Are you bored or frustrated with your life?
  5. Do you have symptoms of depression or anxiety?
  6. Do you overreact with the slightest upset?
  7. Is there excessive sadness in your life?
  8. Do you compromise your needs to satisfy others?
  9. Do you feel stuck?
  10. Do you feel misunderstood?
  11. Feeling as if your life lacks meaning?
  12. Say “yes” to other people, when you really wanted to say “no.”
  13. Do you judge people?
  14. Or gossip a lot?
  15. Do you feel a lack of intimacy in your romantic relationship?
  16. Do you have low self-esteem?
  17. Do you suppress your feelings?
  18. Do you long for more inner-peace?

If you answered “yes” to most of the above questions – then it is time for you to make a solid commitment to improving the quality of your own life by practicing the art of forgiveness. It is time to let go of the past and create a future where you achieve your goals, find your true passion and purpose, feel at ease and feel alive in the present moment.  It’s time to forgive and move on with your life.

If your heart feels heavy and you would like to experience more freedom, clarity and understand the patterns of suffering that keep you stuck, please feel free to contact us. Together we can create a plan for your life so that you can move forward and find lasting happiness and peace. You deserve to live your life to the fullest!

“Forgive, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace” – Author Unknown

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A Quick Exercise to Dissolve Resentment

One of the most frequent issues, I deal with as a Life Coach and Reiki Master is the issue of forgiveness. There is so much stored up, repressed hurt and resentment among people, many people bottle up their hurt feelings, or their anger as they do not know a safe and simple way to just let it go. Often time’s people feel it is easier to hold onto a grudge than to face it and release it. Research now shows us that holding onto old grudges affects health, productivity and happiness levels.

Dissolving resentments and practicing forgiveness improves the quality of your life:

It frees you from the emotional weight of the pain. It may not take the pain away, but it will help you to let go of the tight grip the emotions have on your heart. Holding onto resentment for a long period of time can cause stress, depression and anxiety.

 Keeps you in a field of grace. There is no better way to experience grace than to forgive someone.

 Improves your marriage. Nothing is more destructive of love than resentment and bitterness. Practicing forgiveness as a couple is a powerful way to keep your marriage healthy and intimate.

Helps you sleep soundly at night. When you dissolve old resentments, you free your mind, you let go of the pressure that builds up in your shoulders and neck and your heart is healthier. When you forgive you experience less stress and anxiety and learn to be more accepting of yourself and other people when they make mistakes. You do not beat yourself up for making a mistake, and you no longer feel so upset and irritated with others for messing up.

Dissolving resentment can be simple, not easy but simple. One of the best exercises I have used in my own life and offered to my clients is an exercise that Louise Hay shares in her book, “You Can Heal Your Life” and she point out that this is an old Emmet Fox exercise that helps to dissolve resentment. Since it helps to dissolve the resentment, it will also help you in forgiving others and in forgiving yourself.

  • Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths and when you feel relaxed, imagine yourself in a special place. This special place can be anywhere that your imagination takes you, perhaps somewhere in nature or to a special forgiveness room that you can return to again and again when doing forgiveness work.
  • In the spirit of forgiving others, think of someone who you resent in some way or someone who has upset, hurt or offended you. See this person sitting in front of you, at a distance that feels comfortable to you. If for any reason it is not comfortable for you to invite this person into the sacred space that you have created with your imagination envision them behind a wall of glass or in a room across from yours or see them on the TV screen, be creative and do what feels comfortable.
  • When you see this person clearly, visualize good things happening to this person – things that would be meaningful to him. See him or her smiling and happy. Hold the image for a few minutes and then let it fade away.
  • Now take a moment to do the same for yourself. Once the image of the other person fades, see good things happening to you. See yourself smiling and happy. Feel how good this feels. Close your session with gratitude.

A more peaceful, loving and calm life is possible. You can let go of the heavy burden of unforgiveness and dissolve old resentments. If you are ready to free yourself from the emotional weight of your pain, then we recommend our Life Coaching sessions to help you understand, clear and release whatever is holding you back from reaching your fullest potential. It is time to commit to your own spiritual growth. Contact us today for a free 30-minute consultation so that we can design a unique plan to support you.

“You can not forgive without loving. And I don’t mean sentimentality. I don’t mean mush. I mean having enough courage to stand up and say, “I forgive. I’m finished with it.” – Maya Angelou

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Free Mini Kindle Book – An Introduction to Angels

 

I spotted a free mini Kindle book available on Amazon today – An Introduction to Angels. This is a short interview with Doreen Virtue by “Best of You Today”. If you are looking for a quick and easy read then this is the book for you! It is short and sweet and gives you some basic information on Doreen Virtue and how to work with your angels. This is an uplifting and positive little book to add to your library.

You don’t need an Amazon Kindle to take advantage of this free offer. You can download Kindle books to your iPhones, select Blackberrys, Droids, iPads, Macs and PCs. Remember Amazon prices change often. Make sure to double check that the price is still showing as $0.00 before you download.

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The Art of Paying Attention

 Life is denied by lack of attention,
whether it be to cleaning windows
or trying to write a masterpiece. 
~ Nadia Boulanger

   Paying attention to the world around you can teach you how to live in a natural flow of responding to life as you experience it. Life is a great teacher and if we pay attention to the world around us it will show us what our next step is. Often we can get caught up in mind-talk or play out far-reaching scenarios in our mind, instead of being mindful and aware of what life is presenting to us in each fresh and ever-changing moment. Life will always provide reasons for joyfulness as well as reason for concern. In attending to life in each moment we can learn to surrender to the flow of life as we are carried and supported in ways that go far beyond human understanding.

We have both a moment-to-moment purpose as well as a larger life purpose.   Our moment-to-moment purpose teaches us what needs to be done, what our next step is. When we are paying attention we realize that the herbs growing in the pot out on the deck need to be watered, or breakfast needs to be prepared, or the trash in the neighborhood park needs picking up, or the elderly lady standing on the sidewalk needs help crossing the road, or a load of laundry needs doing, library books need to be returned, a conference call needs to be scheduled or the dog needs grooming. The reality of life will always reveal what the next step is, and if you are in tune with the flow of life you will respond and attend to what needs doing. Attention must be focused on reality. Reality will always teach you what you need to learn. As you learn to observe reality you will get clear information regarding what needs to be done, this is purposeful behavior. Your next step will then be to do invest your attention into doing your activity well.   When you lead a simple and well organized life you will be able to put more attention on what needs doing instead of deciding what needs to be done. The magic is in the doing not in the deciding. Sometimes you may be required to make choices and decide what tasks are important or necessary. At certain times it may be essential and helpful to allow the dishes to pile up in the sink while you pay attention to your larger life purpose. The daily tasks can take up a large chunk of time, and it is important to be aware of the balance that is required in dividing your time up between daily living and your larger purpose. It is also interesting to note that your larger purpose can often be found in your moment-to-moment purpose, so pay attention!

Learn to pay attention to your surroundings. When you pay attention to people you will begin to notice many opportunities to be of service in the world. Compassion develops when you place your awareness on people, animals, plants and the beauty of the world around you, instead of remaining caught up in your own worries and concerns. Focusing your attention on others will help you to see the pain, joy, tenderness, love, problems, delight and concerns of others. As a result you will be far more in tune with the world and act in loving and compassion ways. When you are alert to the needs of your fellow human beings, then you may stop asking the question “How can others be of use to me?’ and instead ask, “How can I be of use to others?”

During challenging moments in life, pay attention to the world around you, it really is fascinating! Always remember the qualities of compassion, grace and gentleness. By staying aware and being connected to the present moment and learning to pay attention to the word around you, many previously unnoticed opportunities will become apparent. You will then have the chance to act on these opportunities and before long your life will be flowing smoothly downstream again. Whatever you pay attention to expands and the actions you take ripple out and have an effect on the world around you.

Remember that life is a matter of attention.
 
 “Have a look at the apple tree in your yard. Look at it with complete attention. It is truly a miracle. If you notice it, you will take good care of it, and you too are part of its miraculousness.”
                                          ~Thich Nhat Hanh

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Life’s short. Live passionately. Life Coaching Can Help!

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Free Kindle Book:Buddha in Blue Jeans: An Extremely Short Zen Guide to Sitting Quietly and Being Buddha

I spotted a free Kindle book available today on Amazon: Buddha in Blue Jeans: An Extremely Short Zen Guide to Sitting Quietly and Being Buddha by Tai Sheridan. It’s a really short read (31 pages) if you are interested in learning more about living mindfully. I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking for healthful ways to stress-less and to be more present. A wonderful, quick weekend read!

You don’t need an Amazon Kindle to take advantage of this free offer. You can download Kindle books to your iPhones, select Blackberrys, Droids, iPads, Macs and PCs. Remember Amazon prices change often. Make sure to double check that the price is still showing as $0.00 before you download.

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The Gratitude Game

“When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears” - Anthony Robbins

 

When you experience the emotions of fear, disappointment, sadness, anger or envy, you lower your energy level. Holding onto such emotions can result as extreme stress, insomnia, anxiety and a feeling of life not working out the way you planned.

Anthony Robbins says that abundance appears when you are grateful. This happens because if you take the time to cultivate an attitude of gratitude you can begin to be grateful for all that happens to you.  Everything in life is made up of bundles of energy and you can exercise choice regarding your actions and attitude. You can cultivate an attitude that is filled with gratitude or you can practice an attitude of constantly complaining and staying stuck in feeling abused. Don’t wait until you have your life all planned out or all your ducks in a row before you allow yourself to be happy.  Allow yourself to enjoy vibrant health and fortune by being grateful each and everyday.

You can open to the flow of energy by learning to increase your awareness of blessings in your life by balancing your charkas. Chakras (a Sanskit word meaning spinning wheel or circle) are energy points in the body that correspond with the endocrine glands. The health of your energy centers, or chakras, may influence your physical health. You need to be aligned to experience and maintain vibrant health, well-being and to live a deeply fulfilling life. The belief in chakras originated in India and was first utilized in Ayuevedic medicine. If you practice yoga, meditate or do body work then you may already be familiar with chakras. Imagine your chakras as circles of energy that support the vitality of your body, mind and soul. Your lower chakras correspond to issues of the material world, while your upper chakras are centered more upon spiritual issues.

Below I will introduce you to the 7 major chakras even though there are many more, and I ask you to choose just one chakra to work with today as you play the Gratitude Game.

The 7 major charkas:

The Root Chakra: This is located at the base of the spine. It is a brilliant ruby-red color. Your root charka is related to issues of physical security and it is affected by your feelings, beliefs and thoughts about survival and your sense of security in the world.

The Sacral Chakra: This is located in the lower abdomen. In Eastern philosophy this center is known as the Hara, and it has a very significant part in the Asian martial arts as a central focus for movement and co-ordination. It is a vibrant shade of orange. The sacral charka is affected by your feelings, beliefs and thoughts about well-being, pleasure and sexuality.

The Solar Plexus Chakra: This is the 3rd  major charka and it is found right behind the navel. It is a shade of canary yellow. The main issues of the solar plexus charka have to do with self-worth, self-esteem and personal power. It is strongly connected to your attitudes about empowerment and decision making.

The Heart Chakra: This is situated in the center of the chest above the region of the physical heart. It relates to issues in your life that have to do with love and joy. The heart charka is a beautiful shade of emerald green. When your heart charka is healthy and balanced you are able to form loving connections with all living beings. The heart chakra is about giving and receiving love.

The Throat Chakra: This is the 5th major chakra and it is located inside the throat where it acts as a bridge between your heart and your mind. This chakra is blue in color and is the center of communication and self-expression. When your throat chakra is balanced you will feel lively and expressive.  If your throat chakra becomes blocked it is usually connected to thoughts and feelings centering on expressing yourself freely.

The Brow Chakra: This is located in the forehead between the eyebrows. It is often called the third eye. This chakra is a lovely rich indigo color. It presides over your capacity to think and discern, to use your imagination and develop your intuition. The brow chakra also helps you gather wisdom from all life experiences.

The Crown Chakra: The 7th major chakra is found at the very crown of the head. This chakra is a magnificent violet color and it links you with beauty, and your spiritual nature.

 

The Gratitude Game: Rainbow Gifts

Have some fun while you practice gratitude and balance your chakras. I invite you to play a game; this game is inspired by my Grandmother, Kathleen Thompson, who loved surprising people with gifts. Make a list of 7 people you appreciate and would like to say thank you to. You may want to consider the people who you may overlook but who add value and ease to your life, such as the postman, the garbage collector or your garden service.

Now decide on 7 inexpensive gifts, one of each color related to the chakras, and make a plan on how to present a small token of love and appreciation to 7 people.

Example:

A Red gift – I have a photo of a red cardinal that I am going to email to my great aunt who loves birds

Orange gift – I can squeeze a glass of fresh orange juice for my husband

Yellow gift – I can deliver a bunch of bananas, some pears, mangoes and golden delicious apples in a basket to the local nursing home

Green gift – I can leave a larger than normal tip at my local coffee shop today

Blue gift – I can take a blueberry pie to the local fire station or police station

Indigo gift – I can pick a bunch of wild flowers and take them to a friend in hospital

Violet gift – deliver a box of chocolate chip cookies with a big violet bow to the local animal shelter to thank them for their dedication and care.

Have fun playing the Gratitude Game. Don’t rush; it may take you a day or a month or even a year to play this game.  Be creative and experience the joy of giving to others and thanking them.

 Count your blessings. A grateful heart attracts more love, joy, beauty and abundance.

 

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Free Kindle Book:The Human Aura Astral Colors and Thought Forms

 

I spotted a  free Kindle Book available today on Amazon: The Human Aura Astral Colors and Thought Forms by William Walker Atkinson. It’s a great little read if you are interested in learning more about the aura and energy fields. I would recommend this book for anyone involved with Reiki, or any form of energetic healing as it contains quite a bit of information and practical advice on how to strengthen your own aura as well as how to see other people’s auras, together with a complete description on the colors. A wonderful weekend read!

 

You don’t need an Amazon Kindle to take advantage of this free offer. You can download Kindle books to your iPhones, select Blackberrys, Droids, iPads, Macs and PCs. Remember Amazon prices change often. Make sure to double check that the price is still showing as $0.00 before you download.

 

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Life Coaching can help you Stress Less and Weigh Less

Gail who has been struggling to loose weight for 10 years decided to give Life Coaching a try to help her feel better about herself and to discover new ways to loose those stubborn 25 pounds. Gail had read an article that described how losing weight and finding one’s purpose were connected. Now Gail was intrigued and eager to drop those extra pounds and find more purpose and passion in her life.

Gail spend a lot of time and energy focusing on her weight, on finding the next diet or exercise program that promised rapid results. Like most woman, she found talking about her body made her feel very emotional. Western culture places so much pressure on woman to look good and to keep their youthful appearance instead of honoring the passage of time and the wisdom and soul-beauty that is only earned through living life.

During her first Coaching session, Gail said that she felt so much pressure to lose weight and to fit into a smaller dress size. She felt disappointed with the ways in which her body had changed and no longer looked the way it did in her 20’s and early 30’s. Now in her late 40’s Gail felt like she was on a constant roller coaster ride trying new diets and weight loss pills, hoping to find a solution to a problem that was not going away.

During coaching sessions we discussed how focusing on diet and exercise is important when losing weight but in order to let go of excess pounds and to keep the weight off long-term, it is important to look at what’s going on inside, to delve into the unconscious mind and to become aware of what may be blocking her ability to lose weight. The root of the problem needed to be addressed on a physical, as well as emotional, mental and spiritual level.

Weight loss and self worth are connected and only once Gail understood the connection between her emotions and her weight gain did she begin to notice the surplus weight falling off.

Gail wanted to share her 5 easy steps to weigh less and stress less

1.      Realize that when you feel stressed and anxious your cravings for certain foods will increase. Whenever I felt stressed I would reach for sugary foods such as donuts and cookies. I began to notice that I was eating a lot of foods that were high in fat and sugar. I became a more mindful eater and kept a journal tracking how my negative emotions where influencing my inability to lose weight. I was just adding more weight and more stress to my life.

2.      Learn the value of self-compassion. Dr. Kristin Neff has done some remarkable research on the power of self-compassion, self-kindness and genuine love for self. She offers a short test on her website that can help you get deliberate about your self-compassion. This short test measures the elements of self-compassion (self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness) and the things that get in the way (self-judgment, isolation, over identification). The self-compassion test and other great resources are available on Dr Neff’s website: www.self-compassion.org

3.      Discover your passion.  Over the course of my life coaching session with Bridget it became very clear to me that my purpose and weight loss were connected. Feeling lost and empty I filled myself up with food. With some weekly assignments as part of the coaching I started to notice where my passion was, my purpose started to become clearer and the void I had been filling up with sugary foods, is now filled with actions and activities that fuel my soul and bring a greater sense of peace, clarity and satisfaction to my day. Begin to notice what brings joy to your soul and brings a smile to your face!

4.      Interestingly enough weight loss is not so much about diets, pills or exercise. It is more about achieving a shift on an energetic level. Weight loss occurred for me when:

- I understood my beliefs and values, and how I could create meaning in my life.

- I empowered myself by acting on what I believed was right; I began to express myself freely, and appreciated myself more.

- Resolved and healed the pain of situations and people that had hurt me

 -  I started making new choices about the way to relate to people in the NOW so that my relationships bring me joy.

5.      As you heal and create a life that is based upon your highest values and beliefs, it is important that you become aware of the people, places and things that may be draining your vital life force energy. I had to look long and hard at what was draining me.  I made a note of anything that was draining me. This might be a person that you need to spend less time with or an activity that you need to cut down on. This is about getting clear on what gives you energy/power and what drains your energy and your power. I realized that I was not making enough time during the day to take care of my inner emotions; instead I was so focused on my family and friends and trying to fix their lives. I started to pull my energy back towards myself and focus on what was really important to me, I made time to exercise, to meditate, to cook and prepare healthy meals and snacks. I also carved out time each day to write in my journal as I believe that writing was a great help for me in losing weight and having a safe place to release negative and uncomfortable emotions.

Putting an active self-care routine into place is imperative. It is important that you ensure you don’t burn out or feel overwhelmed. A self-care routine can help you stay on purpose! Know your level of self-compassion (you will discover this by doing Dr Neff’s test.) The kinder and more forgiving you are with yourself, the easier it becomes to make new choices and create a life that supports you. In Gail’s words “My world is expanding as my thighs and butt are shrinking!”

 

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Tarot Reading Back-Log

 

 

Due to a back-log of  Tarot orders please understand that at this time (late June and July 2014) the turn-around for orders is about 2 weeks. We appreciate your business and will get to your order as soon as possible. Thankyou.

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